Clothespins

MISSION: Find clothespins to secure tablecloth.

The other day, my mother and I were trying to arrange our kitchen for a Christmas party. She had placed a plastic table cloth that was red and decorated with candy canes onto our 50s diner-style, oblong table.
It didn't fit well at all.
It kept sliding off onto the floor, dragging the table decorations with it, and it would wrinkle in the oddest manner. Finally we'd had enough. My mother decided we were going to find a way to hold it in place. I jokingly mentioned duct tape.
She decided that she could use clothespins and curling ribbon to tie the tablecloth into place.

CLOTHESPIN COUNT: 0, n remaining.

This resulted in a fifteen minute hunt for clothespins.
She found three in the laundry room. She wanted four.

CLOTHESPIN COUNT: 3, 1 remaining.

I perused my house and found one lone pin in my closet.

CLOTHESPIN COUNT: 4, MISSION COMPLETE?

During the three-minute excursion, she had decided she needed at least two more, but four would be better.

CLOTHESPIN COUNT: 4, >2 remaining

I frantically search my house, as we had much else to we had to do. I can't find any at all, but reach for the scissors, only to find three clothespins behind them.

CLOTHESPIN COUNT: 7, MISSION COMPLETE?

We need one more, it is soon decided. I sit clueless, lost to any possible locations.

CLOTHESPIN COUNT: 7, 1 remaining.

My mother walks into her bedroom and pulls a handful of clothespins out of her dresser. They had been there the entire time. It was disheartening.

CLOTHESPIN COUNT: 8, 0 remaining, infinite resource, MISSION COMPLETE.

So we tie down the table cloth. It hands awkwardly around the table, so, frustrated, my mother and I decide it's not going to work. After I had crawled through and around beneath the table with ribbon and clothespins, my effort was wasted.

However, I have a solution to our new dilemma (or is it our old one?) I had mentioned duct tape earlier in a sarcastic moment; now, this would be our savior.

I crawled beneath the table one final time, and when I finished, no edge was left loose. No one can tell it's been taped in place.



The moral of this story? Why use clothespins when you can use duct tape?