Parties

One thing can be said about America:

This is a party nation.

I'm not joking. Think about it. We host parties for EVERYTHING. From the announcement of a possible birth to a death and for every event in between, there has been a party thrown somewhere by someone. For that matter, Americans throw parties for Tupperware, sleeping, adult toys, or sometimes, nothing at all.

Keep in mind, our lovely nation is approximately 12.6 billion dollars in debt, not to mention constant budget cuts, poverty and a national unemployment rate of approximately 1o percent. Then we take into consideration the environmental destruction as well as the deterioration of landmarks that require restoration which requires funding of some sort that we don't have, can't afford, and probably won't be able to in this lifetime, and add that to the amount of money we don't have. What do we do about it? Throw a party!

Then you must consider parties throughout this lifetime:

Baby showers:

Quite honestly, this is one's first party. The fetus has been discovered inside its mother's womb, and this calls for celebration. Cake, food for an undetermined amount of women, presents, party favors, decorations, not to mention the basics: tablecloths, forks, plates, cups, etc. Gifts are expected to prepare the expecting mother for birth and her baby's childhood.

Holidays:

There has been a party sometime, somewhere for every holiday you can possibly think of in America. This includes the ones that no one actually cares about, despite them being marked on the calendar. This strongly resembles Rule 34, but in this case, if the holiday exists, there's a party for it. Period.

Holiday parties might consist of simply gathering a bunch of people to eat, drink, and give each other well wishes for the day, or they might be extravagant. Galas are not unheard of in the slightest for New Year's, Valentine's, and Christmas.

Birthdays:

Birthday parties, let's be honest, for a baby, are totally pointless. Face it, the kid doesn't care who shows up, if all of its baby friends come with the latest rattle, or if you drop $1,000+ on party favors that are more to please the other parents than the other children. This has become a highly common practice in places such as New York, where parents constantly try to outdo one another with gifts to send home.

A birthday party for a toddler is essential, but a ton of money shouldn't be spent on it, because after all, will they really remember it in ten years?

Between the ages of about 5 and 12, parties are completely acceptable. The kids will actually remember this party, but beware of stupid games... Enough said.

So then comes teenage years. Teen parties are fun, but usually cost a lot of money and in most ways are entirely pointless. They'll either be spent making out or doing things that kids probably shouldn't do... Truth or dare, for example, where my ex-boyfriend licked a window. If you take part in this, for God's sake, hide the camera!

Twenties on up, parties for birthdays are gonna be food-related. It's either gonna be a fancy restaurant, a bar-b-que, or going out clubbing. In rare cases, a movie or something equally entertaining might be thrown in.

For the most part, birthday parties revolve around food, and/or blowing a ton of money on random things/events.

Pointless :
Tupperware, Adult Toys, Make-up and other product parties fall under the "pointless" category. You're gonna show up, be shown a bunch of stuff you really don't need, be compelled to buy, then use it once and forget about it.

Also under "pointless" are the parties where everyone shows up to get trashed and then trash someone's place.

These parties are highly overrated. I mean, what are you going to take home? A hangover and possibly a STD or a poorly-thought out tattoo.

Today's generation believes that partying is part of life. Everything from raves to grand balls take place all over the country. While parties are fun, they usually involve large amounts of either food or money, usually a combination of the two.